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Bad Durkheim Germany
The Durkheimer Wurstmarkt (Sausage Market) is Europe’s
largest wine festival, accommodating about about 600,000 people each year.
This is where wine meets relaxation and great times. The
standard size glass at most wine festivals is 250 ml (1/3 of a bottle), here it
is 500 ml (2/3 of a bottle). This isn’t cheap low grade box wine, it is of the
highest quality, and is poured straight from the bottle that was vinted in.
It is held in the spa town of Bad Durkheim,
which is in the Rhineland-Palatinate region in Western Germany, near the Rhine River
which is known for producing some of the world’s greatest wines. All of the
area around the town, is vineyard. It looks like a town sprouted in the middle
of a massive vineyard.
The first one was held in 1417, and it has continued every
year since, this being the 600th festival. I think the reason, is
that there this is a very popular spa which has a very large paved parking lot. A perfect place that can accommodate lots of
rides and booths. Not to mention the
park like atmosphere in all areas near the spa, and the quaint town that it
spills into. The festival booths continue to spill into several of the town’s
streets, making it seem very comfy. Topping all of that off, with many great
local restaurant’s, in support of the year around spa atmosphere.
The German health care system has identified a human
syndrome that they call, “Burn out Syndrome”. It is recognized as by their
health care professionals, and a person exhibiting its symptoms, is given a
doctor’s prescription, to live at a spa until it has been treated. The normal
amount of recovery time is a few months, but I have heard of people who have
taken two years to recover from “Burn out Syndrome”.
The Roman’s may have invented spa’s, but the Germans have
perfected them. They can be found all over Germany, some being the main feature
of a town and some blending in with a larger city.
Vintner’s villa
I stayed at vintners villa about 2 miles across the
vineyard’s from the festival. It was a long, but beautiful walk through the
vineyards, and well worth the effort. Beautiful and peaceful. Like going back
to a time before automobiles and heavy machinery. They gave me a cold-cut meat,
cheese, and fresh bread platter, that perfectly complimented their wine. I felt
at home with a large family there, just hanging out and lounging, most of the
time.
All of Germany has an open land culture. So long as a person
respect the owner’s property that they are on, nobody cares that we are on it,
nor what you are doing on it. I have
never seen a “no trespassing” sign’s nor a locked fence around any property in
Germany. Several people bring their small trailers and mobile homes, and park
them overnight for free, on the small roads that are in the vineyards. Same
with automobiles.
Broomstick
Restaurants
Besenwirtschaft (Broom pub) is the German Name for one of the
finest traditional German experiences, that I have taken part in. They can only
be found in the wine growing region of Germany.
Around 1400, German
laws allowed winemaker’s to sell their own wine, tax free, during early Spring
and Harvest, for only a short period of time, in limited quantities, to
individuals. Like two weeks, twice a year. This was to allow the small
winemakers a chance to earn a meager living and stay in business. That
tradition is still alive today.
They are usually only open for a few weeks out of the year,
but some are open for a bit longer, usually at the very beginning and very end
of wine season. You know you are at a Besenwirtschaft,
when you see an old witches broom hung above the sign or next to the front door.
Often times, it is in the proprietors own house. But could also be an event
room on a farm or even a small restaurant.
They remove the furniture from their living room and put up makeshift tables,
to accommodate as many people as they can. They serve homemade food that that
goes great with wine, and their finest wine vinted the year before (It takes an
entire year to make wine, starting with the picking of the grapes).
Usually the food options are minimal, but I can assure you, that if you
like homemade sausage, cheese, homemade noodles, and fresh German salad, that
is probably one of the standard options. Whatever is on the menu, will taste
great with their wine. These are very proud small winemakers, carrying on their
family business.
For me, I have to make sure I’m not going to spill any wine, and ask them
to kindly move any family heirloom items away from my general area, cause my
body is big and is not always fully under my control.
It is very easy to order the wine. Just ask for either red, rose, or
white. They are only likely to have one or maybe two varieties of each of those
types. It will come is a viertele ,
which is a 250 ml (1/3 bottle) clear glass cup, with a green handle. Usually
with some type of grape decoration on it. Not sure, but maybe that is to
disguise it, like during the prohibition. It is probably, cause it is harder to
spill in that type of glass.
They don’t advertise much, because they don’t need too, but there are
many, many Besenwirtshaft’s in the wine regions of Germany. You just need to
train your eye to look for the broomsticks. That is one fine piece of German
Culture, that can only be found in
Germany.
My History
I grew up near the wine making region of Ohio. There are
some great Ohio wines vented near Lake Erie. I owned a home two miles from Lake
Erie for several years, and my grandfather used to visit me every year at grape
picking time.
A women who owned a vineyard a few miles from my house would
call me when it was the perfect time to pick the grapes. She sold all of her
product to a large company, so she did not make any wine herself. The company
would send a person to the vineyard to test the sugar content in her grapes,
then schedule the picking time around their test results and their knowledge,
showed that their sugar content was at a peak. She would call me, and my
grandfather and I would get there a few days ahead of them, to pick enough to
make about 10 gallons of wine (5 gallons each).
The process is very simple and inexpensive, but a bit time
consuming and takes a lot of attention to detail. Basically, the only
difference between Red, Rose, and White is the type of grape. Red wine has an initial
two week fermentation with the skins, Rose is red but fermented without the
skins, and white is always fermented without the skins.
The chemical process is all natural. Yeast consumes the
sugar in the grapes and produces alcohol and carbon dioxide as a by-product.
When a wine is very dry (no sugar taste), it started with about 25% sugar or
less. 25% sugar produces 12.5% alcohol (which would be 25 proof. Proof is the starting
sugar content). It is difficult to get wine with an alcohol content higher than
that, because the alcohol eventually kills the yeast that is making it. It
takes a special kind of yeast to get a higher alcohol content. Less sugar,
means less alcohol, but will also be dry. More sugar, makes a sweet wine, or
sometimes another fruit juice is added that has higher sugar in it.
Grapes have yeast on the outside of the skins naturally, but
to ensure a good product, start with the best wine yeast.
The grapes are crushed and the seeds are always removed
before fermentation. Deseeding the grapes is the most manual, boring, and time
consuming process. A single seed will ruin the wine.
Not all grapes, make good wine. Another chemical that is
natural in grapes is called tannin. Too much tannin, gives the wine a bitter
and acidy taste. Some tannin is good, but not too much. There is a chemistry
method to test tannin content, and it can be adjusted slightly if needed, but
the best wine starts from the perfect grape. Concord grapes make the best table
grapes, but the worst wine. Start with a good wine grape.
The only other piece of knowledge needed it the exact sugar
content. That can easily be measure with a specific gravity meter. The more
sugar in the juice the higher the bobber will rise in the glass, because the
sugar increases buoyancy. That is just need to determine how dry the wine is
going to be, and it’s final alcohol percentage.
The making is easy after the prep. The initial fermentation is
in open air, and lasts about three to five days. After that, the skins (if the skins were left
in) will have floated to the top. The wine is siphoned from the open container,
into a large container (I use glass, but wine producers probably use barrels). The
juice must fill the container to the top, because after this, air spoils wine
and turns it into vinegar. Air contains living micro-organisms that will spoil
the wine (before this, there is enough carbon dioxide exiting to keep air from
entering). A simple device called a bubbler is used to stop the top of the
container. It allows the carbon dioxide to escape without letting any air
inside. A few weeks to a month later (when the bubbling is nearly gone in the
bubbler), it is bottled (sooner if a sparkling wine is desired), corked, and
stored for the remainder of a year. This is also done via siphon, since the
yeast will be at the bottom of the container. Sulfites are always added as a
preservative for long periods of storage.
The ideal conditions for wine making and storage is about 55
F and slightly moist. That keeps bad aromas and flavors from effecting the wine.
The moister, is so the cork does not dry out. Wine is usually also stored on a
rack, at a position that keeps the cork moist with wine as a precautionary
measure, but that is not really a requirement. The requirement is that the cork
not be allowed to dry out, allowing air to enter it.
Learning German
I have been slowly learning Deutsch (German). Many of the
words are derived from English and are similar, but there are a several unique
words as well.
The most difficult is that the article “The” has three
different conjugations. There is a masculine version, a feminine version and a
neutral version. What confuses most people is that they tend to think that
masculine or feminine has to do with the word that it accompanies. Like, one
would think that a Bikini is feminine, and not masculine at all. It is because
the word Bikini has a very masculine sound to it, so the “the” that goes with
“the Bikini”, is the masculine sounding,
“Der Bikini”, instead of the feminine sounding “Die Bikini”. If the word
Bikini had a soft sound to it, then it would use the feminine “the”. Once I
figured that out, it all started to make sense.
Their use of plurals is more difficult in my opinion, but
that starts to make sense after a while, as well. It is the ending of the word
that gives it a masculine or feminine sound, and often times the plural ending
changes it from a masculine to feminine sound, so the article changes as well.
Plurals almost always sound feminine. Like Der Student (very masculine sound),
becomes Die Studenten (a much softer feminine sound). The plurals have one of
the following endings e, en, n, er, r, s or the exact same word, but with the
article changed to feminine (just to follow the pattern, I am sure).
Also, most people pronounce German in very staccato manner,
but there are parts of Germany, where a more legato and softer approach is
used. There are people who speak it in a very soft sensual manner, and make it
sound beautiful. In fact there is one women who speaks it soft enough to make
my heart go pitter patter even when I don't understand what she is saying, and I call her buttercup. Well, maybe that isn’t completely due to the
language.
In any event, I have a long way to go, but am feeling more
comfortable every day. I know if I learn it too good, that will be the last day
I spend in Germany, so I’m not working that hard at it. It might have something
to do with the eye contact.
German language also has a formal version and an informal
version. The formal is what is taught and the informal is what is usually
spoken among friends.
German culture never small talks. They just speak frankly.
Like, they would never talk about nothing for several minutes just to butter
someone up and then ask to borrow their truck for a move next weekend. They
would just ask to borrow the truck, right up front. In American culture, if you
don’t small talk up front, you are perceived as insensitive. So that is a shift
as well.
Cake and Coffee
German Tradition
All German’s traditionally have cake and coffee at 1500
(3:00 P.M.). Not 5 minutes till 3, nor 5 minutes after 3, but at 3 exactly.
That’s one break that is a constant throughout Germany. Everyone takes the same
break and the Café’s fill up. Most German cakes are a little dry, not very
sweet, and are meant to be consumed with coffee. I happen to like that, but
some people don’t. Like any food product, a person has to know what it goes
best with, to get the most out of it.
Fest
This wine fest has all of the tell tale sign’s of German
Ocktober Fest. Tents and all, except the beer has been exchanged for wine. It
has great time written all over it.
Some of the tables are probably reserved at night time, but it
is mostly wide open during the day, so I stopped in the largest tent to sip on
a 500 ml glass of white wine and take in the festivities. The day time has many
of the same activities as night, except it is light out and the crowd is
sparse. However, the die-hards, come
early, in order to stake out a great table, for the whole day, including the
night.
I was not planning on staying too long. Just an hour or so.
Several tables in front was an entire table of German’s,
obviously an entire family and friends, and one caught my eye right away. A
women, probably in her 40’s or maybe 50’s. She is was what a Norwegian friend
of mine calls, “butter face”. Meaning everything but her face looks like she is
in her twenties. She was wearing “DameHosen”.
DameHosen are the buck shin short’s with Bavarian suspenders.
The female shaped version of LederHosen. Very few German woman can rock that
look. Most German women are tall and have chicken legs, which do not look good
in that attire. It takes a women with Tina Turner legs to rock DameHosen. The
blouse is usually the traditional women’s dirndl blouse. The Authentic look is
with off-white socks that end just below the knee, and low heeled shoes. The
Americanized version is leather hot pant’s, with white thigh stockings and
stiletto’s (we won’t see those in conservative Germany, and to be honest, I
favor the more conservative look anyway).
With them, was a dude who strongly resembled Willie Nelson (American
country music star, now in his 70’s). Tall, slender, old dude, with long white hair,
a great smile and the appearance of being three sheets to the wind at around 12
noon. German’s do not like drunken people, so they were more or less just
ignoring him, but hey, he’s part of the family, so it’s cool having him around
anyway.
There came a time when Willie was looking around the room
and he set his sights on me. He see’s someone sitting alone, smiling, appearing
to have a great time, and sipping on a large glass of wine. He is probably
thinking, gee that looks like someone in need of a friend, and I could use a
friend too. So he comes over and I think he was trying to bum a cigarette.
Maybe to strike of a conversation, or maybe he was out of money and desperate.
So I gave a sympathetic look, shrugged my shoulders, and said
“Kein Rauchen”
(no smokes)
“Ich lernt Deutsch. Mein
Deutsch ist nicht gut!”
(I’m learning German. My German is not good.)
Willie moved in a little, put an arm around me and smiled.
We stood there for a few seconds as I was looking for something simple to say.
I muttered “Sind ie mit Drei Kase hoch?” as I motioned in the direction of
timeless beauty.
(“Are you with three cheese high?”, Three cheese high is a
derogatory German phrase for a short person. Something that a person would only
say in a kidding manner, while smiling sincerely.).
Willie smiles bigger, turns and heads back to his table,
then with his back to me, he motions for me to follow him back to his table. Willie
knows why I’m asking. This is part of the international subliminal dude
language, that doesn’t need any translation.
I hesitated slightly, then found the courage to pick up my
glass and join him, at the end of their table. Me and Willie are each living in
our own world’s, where everyone likes us, and everyone one else at that table is
pretty much ignoring us.
Willie told me her name was Ulrike, which at the time I
could not even come close to pronouncing. German r’s are rolled, which throws
off my speech rhythm. Ulrike is the female version of Ulrich which means ‘Smart
and Powerful’. To me, she exuded both of
those qualities, so she was named appropriately. Wille and I were talking a
little, so I think they figured out that Willie had found a friend and invited
him over.
Eventually, the mighty one turns to me and says, “Wer bist
du?”
(The informal version on “Who are you?”)
I immediately came back with:
“Ich lernt Deutsch. Mein
Deutsch ist nicht gut! Ich bin die
Party-Maus. Ich koche Kirschkuchen
in der Kirche Küche. Du bist schon Buttercup. Wir Machen spass!!! Morgen die Katzenjammer.”
(“I am learning German. My German is not good! I am the
Party Mouse. I cook cherry cake in the church kitchen. You are beautiful
buttercup. Together, we make fun!!!” Tomorrow morning the cats wailing.)
German sentences are ultra simple, frank, and to the point. She
probably thought that the buttercup reference, was about the flower that makes
peoples skin glow. The early spring flower that fills a spring meadow and looks
great against the tall green grass and a women in a white spring dress nestled
among them.
Really it was a reference to the cartoon character Buttercup
in the Power Puff Girls. The Power Puff Girls was an American carton in the
90’s representing three sides of most women. Bubbles was the sensitive one, who
always looked at the positive side of things, Buttercup was the tom-boy who
always wanted to use power to solve all of the problems, and Blossom was the
mastermind, who got between the two opposing forces and manipulated them into a
happy medium.
I cook cherry cake in the church kitchen, is a German phrase
to practice while learning German. It has all of the difficult and confusing K
sounding German words in it. Kirsch
is cherry, Kirche is church, Küche is kitchen, and Kuchen is cake. These are really easy to mix
up. The look of the bakery person when I order ‘kichen church‘ is really
puzzling to them. What do you mean you don’t know what cherry cake is?
Cats wailing is the German phrase for hangover.
I got a slightly delayed smile, so I guess that meant
approval. Maybe or maybe not, but that was the best I could come up with.
German’s never small talk and they always wait for the
person carrying the conversation to ask them a question before talking, which signals
the transfer of the conversation onto them. Unfortunately I could not think of
any simple question to ask, with my limited vocabulary. So I just picked up my
glass and said “Prost” (Cheers). Her body language sent me a sign of approval.
A while later buttercup was collecting two Euro’s from
everyone. I didn’t have a clue what for, but if that is what Buttercup wants,
sure I’m fine with that.
She gives the total, about 50 Euro’s to the table service
dude, and he brings back a huge hand written reserviert (reserved) sign and puts
it on our table. Then we all head out of the tent. The mystery destination was
a restaurant that must have been a fairly popular place, cause there was a long
line outside.
Buttercup then asked everyone for two more Euro’s. Sure.
German lines are unlike anywhere else in the world. They
don’t line up in a straight line. It is a method that I call “Crowd the counter
technique.”, meaning that they just kind of stand around and take up all available
space. If you are Closter phobic, or you need personal space, Germany is not
the place for you.
Buttercup sees my hesitation, then grabs me by the hand and
starts pulling me behind her, attacking the mass of people blocking our
way. She is like a broken record saying
“Entschuldigung! Entschuldigung! Entschuldigung!”,
which means Sorry or Excuse me. Fine for her, cause she is like 5 foot tall,
with tiny feet, maybe a 120 pounds wet, and good looking. I am just trying to
go slow, to make sure I don’t crush someone’s feet, and leaving a little time
for people to open a hole big enough to get my ugly body in. She is yanking my
arm out of the socket the whole way. I finally figure out that she wanted me
right behind her to open a big enough hole for everyone else to slither in
behind.
These people are looking a little upset, but no one is
saying anything. So we get inside, she hands the 50 Euro’s in coins to the
waiter, and I think she said, “Here is your tip. Where are our tables?”, on
account of he sat us right down and we had quick service after that.
After we sit down, she turns to me and says in decent
English. “I am surprised none said a word to us on the way in. I know, if I was
waiting in that line, and someone did that to me, I would have had lots of
words to say.”. Somehow I don’t have any
problem believing that. Maybe that is why she wanted some big dumb looking dude
with her the whole way.
We eat, pay the bill, and head back to our table at the
tent. The sun sets, and the big party is on. It had all of the characters and
sounds of an authentic German Oktoberfest.
Six more hours of great time and it is still going strong,
but Craig was up late the night before, he has a two mile walk up hill to get
back to the villa and is beat.
I tell buttercup and Willie:
“Tschüss! Die
Party ist vorbei für Craig.“
(Bye, the party
is over for Craig.)
And hit the road
on foot.
Heino (Hi-No)
Heino, was Germany’s top pop star in the 70’s. He had a
beautiful baritone voice, and he took old German folk songs and made pop
versions of them. A massive hit in Germany. He had very full white hair and an
eye condition that required him to always wear sun glasses. People thought he
was albino which added to his mystical look. He was quite the ladie’s man, and
I have often wondered if Mike Myer’s Austin borrowed part of the Heino mystic
for his Austin Power’s character.
Heino performing a medley of his hits from the 70’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqvtLoKzP2c
Usually there is a paid actor character, at the Oktoberfest
who jumps up on a table, sings a song,
and kind of flirts with the Lady’s, that I call Heino. Not sure if that is who
they are modeling their character on, but it is definitely a 70’s look that
they have, and they are definitely singing and attempting to flirt.
His stage name
comes from his sister Hannelore's difficulty pronouncing his given name
"Heinz Georg".
In February
2013, Heino released a new album, called "Mit freundlichen Grüssen" (A
standard letter closing meaning, Sincerely Yours, or with best regards),
which topped the German album charts. It is cover versions of pop, hip-hop and
rock songes, and at 80 something, Heino is on the cover wearing some getto bling.
Songs
Besides the traditional German songs, there are some
American songs that are very popular at Oktober fest. Any song that is easy
listening, would not be offensive to anyone, and has that feel good vibe to it,
is very popular. Neil Diamond’s “Sweet
Caroline” is at the top of that list. Everyone, from every country in the
world, knows every single word, and they all sing it as loudly as they can.
There are times when it is so loud, you can’t even hear the band anymore. In
fact, I think if the band stopped playing, the people would just keep on
singing and not even notice that they band wasn’t playing anymore.
In 1976, a British band named ‘Smokie’, came out with a song
called, “Living next door to Alice.”. It is about a dude who grew up next to a
girl named Alice. He had a huge crush on her for the last 24 years, but never
told her (the line in the song is something like, “for 24 years, gee, I wish I
had the chance”). One day Sally calls him and ask’s if he heard about Alice. He
looks out his window, a Limousine pulls into her drive, she gets in, and he
never see’s her again. The rest of the song is about him being bummed out,
cause he never told Alice that he loved her, but then Sally tells him that she
loves him and was just waiting until Alice was out of the picture before
telling him. However, he is still bummed out about Alice leaving. The song and the melody have that easy
listening, Partridge Family type vibe to it, but more of a somber feel to the
melody. In 1995, the Dutch band “Gompie”
remade that song and added a large group of people yelling, “Allice? Who the
fuck is Alice.”, in a convenient break in the song. It was a massive hit in
Germany, and today whenever that song is played, the entire German population
from 2 to 92 all yell, “Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?”. It’s a huge hit at any family gathering in
Germany.
Original version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6qnRS36EgE
Another crowd favorite came out in 1957.
Ein Prosit, ein
Prosit
(A Toast, A Toast)
Der
Gemütlichkeit
(To feeling comfortable and at peace)
Ein Prosit, ein
Prosit
(A Toast, A Toast)
Der Gemütlichkeit
(To feeling comfortable and at peace)
Eins, Zwei, Drei, G’Suffa! (One, Two,
Three, Drink Up!)
This is often follow by one of the
following call and responses:
Call-> Prost
ihr Säcke!" (Cheers
you prick’s)
Response -> Prost
du Sack! (Cheers you prick!)
Or an old military
call and response:
Call-> Zicke zacke,
zicke zacke (Military meaning ‘He who eats the cow, shits the cow!’)
Response -> hoi hoi
hoi! (Hey, Hey, Hey!, or I
agree wholeheartedly)
Cheers !!!
PhotoBlog (Click to view)
Thank you for reading and I’ll see you next time.
Craig
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